STOP Being Dismissive! Avoidant Attachment Relationship Success:- We’ve got to learn that if we’re going to have successful relationships we cannot just dismiss someone because we don’t like what they’re saying or that we don’t agree with it.
STOP Being Dismissive In Your Relationship
Communication is key, I’m sure you’ve heard that hundreds, thousands of times. And the reason why you keep hearing is that it’s right, it’s real.
Without proper and effective communication in your relationship, you are going to see things fall apart. So many relationships have failed because people don’t know how to talk to each other.
One of the biggest issues I’ve seen, be very prevalent in so many relationships is being dismissive of your partner and their feelings.
Now, one of the things that even pushed me to write this article wasn’t just the fact that I saw this in relationships. I see this in our world.
In our world today, we live in a society where if someone says something we don’t agree with.
Very dismissive, attacking, you have kinds of culture. All these different things rather than actually having an intelligent discussion about what’s going on.
Rather than trying to actually understand someone’s position and maybe educate them or gain a better understanding or different perspective so you can look at it from all different angles. No, we don’t do that. We just dismiss, attack, all. And even insult.
We see this on the world stage and all I kept thinking to myself was damn! How much is this happening in the own person’s individual relationships?
Because if you get emotionally caught up to where you don’t even want to hear what someone has to say on the internet, which granted you can say that’s probably even more likely.
I would argue that it’s just a greater example of what’s going on behind closed doors and how you treat the people closest to you, all right.
And so, we’ve got to learn that if we’re going to have successful relationships we cannot just dismiss someone because we don’t like what they’re saying or that we don’t agree with it.
Disagreement is absolutely acceptable. Disrespect is not.
Disagreement is absolutely acceptable. Disrespect is not:- So when we cross that line of being dismissive, essentially you’re being disrespectful.
I want you to imagine a time where you were speaking to someone whether it be a partner, a friend, a sibling, whatever, and they said something to you and immediately you were under attack you got defensive.
Or you simply insulted or dismissed what they had to say. Scratch that. Think about when it happened to you.
Think about how you felt when someone was dismissive of how you feel and what you were thinking and how you see things. It didn’t feel good.
- You probably attacked them even harder.
- You probably end up going back and forth with them.
- You probably created or resentment was created and amassing was created.
Because no one likes to be dismissed and it feels disrespectful.
So, we cannot behave that way in our relationships and think there’s going to be a positive result from this.
What I want everyone to consider is that when you are talking…
And let’s just focus right now on romantic partners. But again, this applies to everybody, everything, any relationship.
Number one: When you’re speaking to your partner and they express something that you don’t like, take a deep breath, pause, listen. Don’t listen to react, listen to understand.
If you do not understand, ask for more clarity. Ask them to explain to you their position. Try to put yourself in their shoes.
Because again, if you don’t, here’s what’s going to happen. When you’re dismissive of your partner, they won’t want to talk to you again.
Who the hell wants to talk to someone that’s always dismissing them. Doesn’t you know, even consider how they feel or what they’re saying. It’s not going to work.
Number two: They will retaliate. All you’re going to do is set up a back and forth battle when you’re dismissive of people.
Or number three: They’re going to just go hide in their corner because they’re so hurt by it. And that hurt is now going to manifest into other issues in that relationship and deteriorate that relationship.
So, you got to make sure you don’t pour negativity into your relationship, that you try to more effectively communicate. Again, it doesn’t mean you got to agree with them.
What To Do For STOP Being Dismissive?
Here’s a little tip. When someone expresses themselves even if you don’t agree with them, there’s nothing wrong and you actually should say:-
- I acknowledge how you feel,
- I understand that’s how you feel,
- I understand that’s how you see it.
Giving some type of acknowledgment to their feelings, to their perspective at least, helps them feel like you’re listening, you’re hearing them, you’re considering what they have to say, rather than just pushing it to the side and dismissing it.
So, just be very mindful of how you’re going about these conversations and allow your partner to speak, express themselves.
Don’t judge, don’t attack, don’t insult, don’t speak down to. Listen and try to understand. And even if you guys cannot come to an agreement at the moment, that’s perfectly fine.
Listen, some conversations where disagreement exists will just simply show two people who think differently, but can still coexist with each other.
Some disagreement is going to show where there is a huge rift that exists in your relationship or how you two are just not on the same page. And it may be your sign that this is not the person for you.
But either way, you cannot come to the conclusion of they’re not for me or we can move past this and become stronger together unless you allow yourself to listen to your partner.
So, do not be dismissive, listen, hear them out, speak with love, listen with love, and improve your overall communication in relationships.