- What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
- He Wants Space Should I Text Him?
- How Long Should I Wait To Text Him
What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
When Someone Says They Need Space How Long Should You Wait:- If the man you’re with or the man you’ve fallen has just asked you for space in your relationship, it’s an incredibly stressful time for you right now.
What I want to do is give you a way to help you through that, tell you exactly what you need to do next.
Now these four mindsets that I want you to have in your mind moving forward.
1. You Are A Prize Too And That He Is Also At Risk Of Losing You.
You see, when the person we love or the person we’ve fallen for asks for space, the temptation is to think that they were the prize that we’re losing and that we’re about to have all these taken away and we forget to keep in our mind that we are a prize too.
We forget to remember that they are at risk of losing us as well, and this is a very-important high-value mindset that you have to keep in your mind to give things the maximum chance of working with your man again.
2. Space Can Be A Very Normal Need For Men.
Now, it’s true that some men do use space as an excuse to get away and to do the backhanded breakup where they emotionally distance themselves until you’re forced to break up with them.
Yes, that happens, but there are other men where space can be a normal need. When a man feels incompetent, when a man doesn’t feel like himself, it finds it, he finds it very hard to give love to a woman and sometimes a man needs to go back to his man cave and rebuild himself and just to feel confident within himself again, to come back to you and be your man.
3. The Concept Of His Needs And Your Needs.
What are relationships really, right? They’re in exchange of needs.
Now, in a good relationship, you’re meeting each other’s needs and these things work well together. That’s what a good relationship is.
- What are his needs?
Space. He need to work on himself.
- What are your needs?
Love, Connection, Intimacy.
These needs are opposites and they can’t both work together. And you want to think of this concept as, These are my needs, and these are his needs.
Now, you are going gonna meet your man’s needs some of the time in a relationship and he’s going to meet yours. And when he asks for space, what he’s essentially saying is, “I need you to meet my needs for a little while and to put yours aside for a little while.”
This isn’t inherently a bad request, but it’s not something that can go on forever. You need to keep this concept in mind of his needs and your needs.
4. The Mindset Of Time Is Ticking.
His clock is running out. So when a man asks for space, it’s not a reason to dump his ass right there and it’s not a reason to fret and harass him for answers, which is something we’re going to talk about in a moment, but it is time to go.
Okay, well time’s ticking, mate. You see when a man asks for space like I said, he’s asking for his needs to be put above yours and that’s okay for a short period, but it can’t last forever and when that timer runs out, you do have to have the strength to walk away.
He Wants Space Should I Text Him?
So with those four mindsets in your head, this is what you need to do next. Follow these five steps when your man has asked you for space while keeping those, as I said, very important in your head.
1. Don’t Hassle Or Pester Him.
This is so important. The knee jerk reaction from most women is to immediately hassle or pester a guy when he asked for space, you want to break the anxiety. You don’t want to be in this unknown space. So you go, we need to sort this out. We need to, we need to talk about this.
We need to communicate. And the net result is the guy doesn’t get any space. You’re trying to meet your needs for love and connection. You’re ignoring his needs for space and all it does is make him want to pull away more. Give him space. By all means, offer your support, but give him the space he’s asked for.
Now, at the same time, the other knee jerk reaction as Tara so aptly described, is to dump his ass girl. You don’t want to do that either. That dump his ass reaction is not self-respect as many would believe. It’s just self-preservation. It’s saying, I don’t want to be vulnerable in this situation, so I’m just going to go boom, dump his ass, and that’s going to be that so I can not be vulnerable and I can have my answer.
The reality is it’s a way to break anxiety, but if we’re all dumping someone’s ass the moment they asked for their needs to be met for a little period, we’re all getting way too happy, way too trigger happy with ending our relationships, so don’t hustle and don’t pester. Don’t jump to dumping his ass.
2. To Reduce Your Investment.
This sounds gamey, but it’s important. Invest in a man who invests in you, so when a man wants to take space when he wants to meet his own needs and take that time, you must do the same.
He’s saying, look, I want to invest in myself right now and put more of my time into fulfilling my own needs, it’s very important that for your self-respect, you do the same.
3. Get Back To The Woman You Were When You First Met Him.
Remember the way you acted when you first got together? Remember how carefree you were? Remember how he was the man you wanted but never needed? Remember how you are happy to do your own thing but loved having him there with you? That’s what you’ve got to get back to.
When you get back to that, it’s going to make him want to come back to you in that state. If you’re struggling in particular with mindset number one. If you’re struggling to remember the prize you are, and you’re thinking to yourself constantly, I don’t want to lose this man rather than, “Hey, he’s at risk of losing me too”.
If you’re particularly struggling with that mindset, then this is especially important for you. You’ve got to use this time. You’ve got to use this space, this extra time you have to invest in you and get back to the woman you were at the beginning because the fact is that’s the woman he’s most likely to come back to.
4. Let Him Come To You.
He asked for space and you’ve shown your support, but he asked for space and so it’s also on him to ask for an end to that space. Let him come to you.
5. When His Time Is Up, Pull The Plug.
This takes a lot of personal strength. It does, but you can’t stay forever in a situation where his needs are being met and yours are not. That’s just going to make you unhappy.
You’ve got to have the strength to go, “Okay, I’ve met your needs. I put myself out there for you but you haven’t come back to me. Now, I need to draw the line and take care of myself and end the relationship.”
How Long Should I Wait To Text Him
“How long do I wait?” How long do I wait? How long do I give him before I pull the plug and say, no, my needs are important too and look this very situation, this situation, and I can’t give you an answer that’s going to work for every situation because every situation is so different, but I can give you a few things to think about as you go forward and go, this is how much time I’m going to give this guy?
1. How Legitimate Is His Need For Space?
Think about has he just lost a close family member? Has he just lost his job and is feeling very incompetent within himself or is he just saying he’s busy with work or is he not even giving you a good excuse for space at all? The more legitimate his reason that he asked for space is the longer you want to give him.
2. How Much Relationship Credit Has He Built Up Along The Way?
It’s pretty obvious that if you’ve been married to a man for five years and he asked for space, you’re going to give that guy a lot longer than if this is a guy you’ve been seeing a month and he just asked for space.
If he’s taken the time and over the months or years has invested in your needs, he’s, he’s put in for you, he’s met your needs when you are having a bad day, then it makes sense you’re going to meet his needs for a longer period.
3. Is He Keeping You Updated Along The Way?
So is he texting you? Is he calling you? Is he at least giving you something while he’s asked for space that shows that he’s trying to bridge that gap to come back to you?
The more he keeps you updated, the more it shows he’s investing in the relationship to bridge that gap overtime where he’s going to come back and the longer you want to give him.
Again, you’re not going to wait around forever but if a guy’s updating you and if a guy is investing in that while he’s asking for space, it does show good things.,
So you’ve ultimately got to decide how long you wait until the time is up. But those are three questions you can ask yourself.
- How legitimate is his request for space?
- How much relationship credit has he built up over time?
- Is he keeping you updated along the way?
That is getting to give you a really good idea as to how long you should wait.