7 Simple Tips On How To Get The Upper Hand In A Relationship

How To Get The Upper Hand In A Relationship:- To gain The Upper Hand In A Relationship, prioritize open communication, empathy, self-improvement, setting healthy boundaries, collaborative decision-making, expressing gratitude, and seeking compromise.

These practices promote a balanced and respectful partnership where both individuals can thrive.

What Does The Upper Hand Mean In A Relationship?

Originally this was used in negotiations. People who have the upper hand in negotiations, in terms of whatever it is they’re trying to negotiate.

Of course, a relationship isn’t like a negotiation, but it is similar in terms of who’s in control and who’s not in control. You have the upper hand, you are the person who has nothing to lose.

You can walk away and that’s you have nothing to lose. When you’re in a relationship, people are scared of losing each other and that’s where this whole ebb and flow of the upper hand, and the lower hand comes in.

To have the upper hand, you need to have the ability to say, you know what, I can walk away. I can be with other people if this relationship isn’t giving me what I need out of it. I can walk away.

That’s not necessarily something that you’re going to say to the person, but this is the mentality you’re going to have. 

Many guys have trouble gaining the upper hand in this situation because they’re desperate and needy for the women they’re with.

If you don’t have a lot of experience with women, if you don’t have an abundant mindset, which we’re going to get to in just a bit, if you don’t have that, naturally, you’re going to be in the needy mentality.

You’re going to feel like you need them more than other people. When you feel like you can’t walk away, when you feel like you have to stay in this, when this is like the only thing that you can have, you’re already doomed. 

Also Read: What Does It Mean When A Girl Calls You Dude, Bro, Buddy, Or Man

What Does “Losing The Upper Hand In A Relationship” Mean?

This means that you don’t feel like you have control over the relationship. A lot of people who feel like they don’t have the upper hand, tend to feel very needy in their relationship feeling like they’ve completely lost control.

If this is you, you’ve come to the right place. I have some ideas of why this is happening and I have a solution of “How To Get The Upper Hand In A Relationship” For you. 

How To Get The Upper Hand In A Relationship

Maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship is a delicate dance between two individuals.

It’s not about power struggles or one person having the upper hand; rather, it’s about creating a partnership built on trust, respect, and open communication.

However, it’s important to recognize that getting the upper hand in a relationship should not be equated with control or dominance.

Instead, it means fostering an environment of equality and mutual growth. In this article, we’ll explore ways to achieve a sense of empowerment and influence in your relationship without compromising its harmony.

1. Communication is Key

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. To get the upper hand in a positive way, start by expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully.

Encourage your partner to do the same. Engage in open, honest, and empathetic conversations, and be a good listener.

When both partners communicate openly and honestly, it creates an atmosphere of trust and understanding, allowing each person to feel heard and valued.

2. Understand Your Partner’s Perspective

Empathy is a powerful tool in any relationship. To gain influence, try to understand your partner’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.

Empathizing with their feelings and experiences shows that you respect their perspective, which can lead to more constructive discussions and better decision-making as a couple.

3. Work on Self-Improvement

One way to have the upper hand in a relationship is to continually work on self-improvement. Focus on personal growth, whether it’s developing new skills, pursuing your passions, or maintaining your physical and emotional well-being.

When you invest in yourself, you become a more interesting and confident person, which can naturally enhance your influence within the relationship.

4. Set Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential in any relationship. Discuss and establish boundaries with your partner to ensure both of you feel respected and comfortable.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean controlling the other person; it means defining what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior within the relationship.

When both partners understand and respect each other’s boundaries, it can create a more harmonious dynamic.

5. Collaborate and Make Decisions Together

Decision-making is a shared responsibility in a relationship. To have the upper hand in a positive way, collaborate on important choices, whether they’re related to finances, living arrangements, or major life decisions.

By involving your partner and valuing their input, you’ll create a sense of partnership and shared responsibility, rather than one-sided control.

6. Show Appreciation

Expressing gratitude and appreciation is a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your position in the relationship. Regularly acknowledge and thank your partner for their efforts, both big and small.

When people feel appreciated, they are more likely to reciprocate with kindness and consideration, fostering a positive and balanced partnership.

7. Seek Compromise

In a healthy relationship, compromise is key. Instead of trying to win every argument or have things your way all the time, be willing to meet your partner halfway.

Seek solutions that benefit both parties and the relationship as a whole. This willingness to compromise demonstrates maturity and a commitment to the relationship’s success.

What People Like In A Relationship As Attention 

  • We want attention
  • We want love
  • We want sex

All those things. When that is taken away from us and there’s the distance, then you are going to have more value because you’re not there all the time.

You’re going to be more valuable because she can have the thing that she wants all the time.

You need to create that distance. The key value here is your availability. Your availability is the value. Remember that you are the prize. 

You don’t need to be buying her stuff and taking her to fancy dinners and doing all these things to get her attention.

Instead, you gotta come back to the mentality that it’s you who is the prize and you are not going to be easy to obtain because you have a life and hope you’re dating someone who’s doing the same and then when you guys come together, it’s awesome and not oscillating so heavy between upper hand, lower hand and so forth. 


To wrap this up, understanding, the abundance mentality, means you feel like you have an abundance of women in your life when you’re first dating.

Or if you get into a relationship, understand that women are abundant out there so if it doesn’t work out with this woman, you’ll be able to find someone new. That is the key to that mentality.

Not a lot of guys have that mentality because they don’t even think that they can attract any women, which again, is why we come full circle.

Here is why you have to date a lot of women to prove to yourself that you know what, it is possible. If it doesn’t work out with the girl that you’re with, you can find someone new.

Upper Hand Meaning

People who have the upper hand in negotiations, in terms of whatever it is they’re trying to negotiate. Of course, a relationship isn’t like a negotiation, but it is similar in terms of who’s in control and who’s not in control. You have the upper hand, you are the person who has nothing to lose.

6 thoughts on “7 Simple Tips On How To Get The Upper Hand In A Relationship

  1. You are the only one who explains the dating American reality. I agree with you that you have to behave in this particular way, otherwise, you won’t have a dating life at all. However, there is a paradox: if you date multiple women, this implies that you force yourself to become a player. From a female perspective, this seems natural and they turned on as you said because you are preselected by other women. The woman that will finally get you, but she thinks that she will keep you and will not lose you from another woman down the road. This is an illusion because this kind of male behavior leads to a male hypergamy.

    Why is this wrong? Because if you adopt the idea that there are plenty other fish in the sea, you will end up in the theory of paradox of choice: you will always look for something better, which in the end you will end up with a non optimum choice, not what you want but what you can have. This is the reality of most women who reach the age of 30 and hit the wall because they realize that there are plent of options any more because simply their status has changed, they are not young and pretty as they use to be when they were 20 years old. This of course may not work with men, since mens’ limitelss prime time is after 30….

    But again we claim plenty of fish in the sea. In terms of what? Just looks and age right? How about chemistry, moral values, family values, etc. It takes time to learn someone and be tested when things go south either in the relationship or in man’s life. Again, the reality is exactly what you explain in your article, but it seems hardly to believe that there is no other way…

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
      We will get back to you with our new article regarding all this.

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