Why My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem Interested In Me Sexually Anymore

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem Interested In Me Sexually:- If you’re reading this you’ve asked yourself countless times. You are probably beautiful, intelligent, and warm and you want to have s*x.

The first thing I want to say to you is it’s not your fault and validate the pain that you probably have endured the loneliness the lack of being touched and seen and connected to and valued and pursued and wanted and you deserve that as a woman.

But you’re married to a man, who for whatever reason doesn’t want to have sex. I’m gonna give you some options of what could be going on here.

If you can unknot this maybe help you and your husband have a great sexual life your entire life.

So you feel wanted you to feel desired you feel pursued again and you feel like he loves you.

You deserve that and you feel like he’s making love to you. Not just having sex with you when you are having sex.

Why My Boyfriend Isn’t Physically Intimate – Reasons:

Depression

Your husband may be suffering from severe depression. Worthless feelings, Low Energy, difficulty concentrating.

His Suicidal thoughts, His Low energy during the day Feeling like he’s not enjoying life at all. If he has a lot of those characteristics and a lack of desire for sex, this is the characteristic of depression.

Now I would tell you if he’s getting up and going to work and has energy for his other activities and his friends and all that kind of stuff, Probably not depression.

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But if everything seems to be getting smaller in his life, including his desire to work Wanting to stay in bed or gaining weight or losing weight, difficulty sleeping those are also symptoms.

If you see all that cluster & his world’s getting smaller and smaller and smaller it may be depression and you want to see a doctor about that. to find out if it’s psychological or chemical and that can also help.

low thyroid

So have them get a blood test. To have his thyroid tested. Because if his thyroid is tested he would also have very similar symptoms to depression, but it could be thyroid-related.

And his thyroid is low he can take Synthroid or some medicine that a doctor would recommend and monitor that to make sure he’s on the right dose, and his energy should come back up and his clarity and his desire to want to have sex should come right back online.

Testosterone

So this is another thing you can go to a doctor and get a test and find out what his testosterone level is for his age.

See if he’s within a normal range. If he is within a normal range, well then it’s another issue.

Intimacy Anorexia

Intimacy Anorexia is a very real situation. If you’re married to an intimacy anorexic as a woman you feel alone you feel disconnected you feel like you’ve been begging to be loved begging to be wanted and not ever seeming to get through.

Except for maybe one or two week periods at a time where if there’s a real crisis he shows up and he becomes your hero But then disappears again on you I’m going to walk you through the characteristics of Intimacy Anorexia I encourage you to go to intimacyanorexia.com and take the test.

My boyfriend doesn’t make me feel wanted sexually

Let me go through the keywords with you so that you can determine, maybe this is what we’re dealing with.

Because if it is if you open up a whole new world of opportunity for him to heal and for you to have the marriage and the sex life that you deserve to have. Let me go through some keywords

Busy

he keeps himself so busy that he has little time just for you he has time for friends or spiritual or political services or activities at work maybe even the kids But not you.

You’re not going on dates you’re not connected You don’t feel like he sits down and shares his heart with you in time. Busy.

That may be just him being on the computer. Him reading books or watching stock markets or other things. Just busy.

Blame

He will blame you for all the issues in the marriage if an issue comes up he’s gonna somehow spin it so that you’re responsible for that issue So if you’ve felt blamed a lot, It maybe intimacy anorexia.

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Love

Withholding Love See there’s a certain way you’re made as a woman to receive love. Maybe it’s gifted, maybe it’s praise, maybe it’s acts service, maybe it’s quality time.

You know there are ways you like to be loved. And he knows exactly the way you like to be loved. Because when he’s in trouble he knows how to love you.

But the rest of the time he intentionally doesn’t love you in those ways. If it’s gifted he doesn’t buy you gifts.

If it’s touch he doesn’t touch you. And so if it’s acts of service he doesn’t pick up after himself or help around the house.

He knows where the pain is for you because intimacy anorexia by definition is actively withholding spiritual emotional and sexual intimacy from your spouse So withholding love would be a key characteristic.

Praise

Withholding praise. You don’t get praised. You’re not seen for what you do, how creative you are, how industrious you are, how hard you work with the kids, or help him out, or do stuff like that.

There’s no acknowledgment of your contribution. So withholding praise.

Withholding s*x

Now there are two ways of doing this. One is you may have a regular sex life for once or twice a week etc. But you don’t feel like he’s even with you during s*x.

If he’s closing his eyes, he may be in a fantasy world or wanting to have pornography, or other things going on and it is true that a lot of people who struggle with sexual addiction, Struggle with intimacy anorexia.

For sure. but the other way of withholding sex is Just not getting any sex. It’s been weeks, months, sometimes years.

Because we dealt with the problem which was the intimacy anorexia. I can’t imagine being in the pain for 5, 10, or 20 years but some of you may be experiencing that as well So that’s withholding sex.

Withholding spiritually from you.

Maybe they engage in spiritual activity with other people and I’ve had a rabbi, I’ve had New Age people, I’ve had pastors who are great spiritual leaders and teachers in their field but when it comes to their spouse they disconnect. They don’t open that part of their life to their spouses. Another thing.

Feelings

Unwilling or unable to share his feelings with you. Maybe with his family or with other people but with you unless there’s a whole lot of work being done by you.

Oftentimes if you’re married to intimacy anorexia you’re paying a dollar to him and getting a penny back. If it feels like that, it probably is intimacy anorexia.

Using Anger or silence

As a way to control in the marriage and using anger to push you away to create distance because the real objective is to create distance and withholding sex from you keeps you constantly in pain which keeps the distance there.

Which exactly what the intimacy anorexia is wanting. And I would encourage you to get the intimacy anorexia book and the married and alone book or the DVD’s, they’re downloadable that may help you just understand that particular piece.

Controlling or shaming around money issues could be another characteristic of intimacy anorexia.

So if you’re experiencing that, that’s not as common with all of them but it is pretty consistent.

So Busy, Blaming, Withholding Love Withholding praise, Withholding sex, Unable to share their feelings, Using anger and silence as a way to control, Controlling around money issues.

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