Why Breakup Is Important? A Break-Up Can Be A BLESSING In Disguise. Now, I know that might be a hard pill for some of you to swallow.
But I want to present to you some things that you need to consider when processing and understanding why a break up can be such a necessary and beneficial thing.
It may not be what we wanted or what you currently want if you’re going through it right now. But again, it could be exactly what you needed. So, I want to give you five reasons why that break up was a blessing in disguise, all right.
And again, read it with an open mind, read it with an open heart. And I have something at the end to tell you, to kind of help you grasp, but help you better receive everything I’m about to layout for you.
1. Because You Were Never Going To Live Without It.
What I mean by that is, so many people get caught up in relationships and despite if it’s toxic, despite them being mistreated, despite them not getting what they need, they want to try to hold on.
They want to look past the red flags, they want so hard to try to make it work. And their desire to make it work, many will claim it’s because well, they were so in love.
But I always say, a lot of times it didn’t love it was an unhealthy attachment, all right. And you become blinded by that attachment. And so, the break up occurring, was something that had to separate you from that individual, separate you from that situation because without it you weren’t going to pull that trigger.
And sometimes that’s why very heavy situations occur. When I say heavy, I didn’t want to use the word tragic, but I guess situations that are so impactful that it almost forces you out of the door.
And it’s necessary, it’s almost essentially God saving you. Because sometimes we’ve got to get hit upside the head to finally do what is best. But essentially, that break up was needed so that you can finally break free from the situation you didn’t belong in.
2. Because They Were Never The Right Person For You.
Again, for so many various reasons we attach ourselves to the wrong person. Many of it is due to a lack of healing. And through a lack of healing, we have a flawed approach to selecting a partner.
We have a very damaging approach to who we will allow into our lives and who we will try to build a relationship with. The reality is that when you haven’t healed, you are 99% likely to choose the wrong person.
Now, granted some of you may say well, when did you come up with a 99%? I never did an official study but I’m telling you as a coach who has sat down with hundreds of people, who have read through thousands of emails, who has helped millions of people.
I have seen the pattern be consistent. When people have not healed, they choose the wrong person and when you understand that the majority of this world has experienced some level of trauma, hurt, disappointment, and the majority of this world has not gotten help and properly healed from those issues.
That means the majority of this world chooses the wrong person to be with and so, that break up is necessary again, to break you free from an individual you don’t belong with. The problem is if you don’t heal, you’re going to find yourself back into another situation with someone you don’t belong with again.
So, take it as a blessing but don’t waste the opportunity. When that break up occurs, sometimes we get so stuck on dwelling on the fact that we’ve now lost this relationship or this person is no longer with us. Not accepting and realizing they never belonged with us.
And now, we have an amazing opportunity to self-reflect, to heal, and to position ourselves to receive the person who is best for us. So, embrace that opportunity.
3. Because That Person Was Hindering Your Purpose.
You know, I say there’s a lot of people, women, and men right now, who are not walking in their purpose because the wrong person in their life is holding them back.
Now, it’s not to simply blame the other individual because we have to take responsibility as well. But the reality is that, when you get with the wrong person, they become a huge distraction because everyone is not meant to walk the path that we’re supposed to walk.
Everyone is not called and cannot be in alignment or is not in alignment with where God wants us to be in life. And so, when you attach yourself to the wrong individual, it throws everything off, it hinders you.
Even if you believe that you are moving towards your purpose, I’m going to tell you that you are severely hindered.
You’ve been severely slowed down and your progress is not going to be at the level it should be at because of your connection and your involvement with the wrong individual.
So, again, the break up occurring is a blessing because now, it can free you up to walk with God in proper alignment with your purpose.
So, as with the other examples I gave, with the other points I’ve made, you’ve got to embrace that opportunity. You can’t waste it, you can’t dwell on the negativity of the loss of the relationship.
That loss was your gain, it’s something to celebrate, it’s something to be happy about. And I know that’s easier said than done because when we’re so emotionally invested, we don’t always see it that way.
But it was necessary, it is best, move forward with a positive mindset.
4. Because Had You Stayed Longer In That Relationship, More Damage Would Be Done.
Again, even if you believe that you were dealing with the right person because not every break up involves two individuals who were not best for each other or who should not have been together.
But it may have involved two individuals where the timing was not right, where it was the right person wrong time. So, even in that case, the break up is a blessing because again, you need to get some things in order. You need to get some things straight and had you remained in that relationship, all right.
If you’re with the right person at the wrong time, that means that more damage is going to occur. And of course, if you’re with the wrong person, more damage is going to occur. The quicker you can get out, the better.
If they are the right person, there will be an opportunity for you guys to make it work if you focus on what needs to be done. If they’re the wrong person, well, again, thank God they’re out of the way.
But one way or another, you would have stayed there, you would have found more damage. And you can see the examples in life around you.
You’ve seen people in relationships 7 years, 10 years, 20 years, with the wrong person. Like, it doesn’t get better by simply holding on to an individual who’s not best for you.
Holding on to someone who’s not trying to work with you. Or holding on to someone when you are still carrying baggage from your childhood, from previous relationships and you have not learned how to handle that.
And what happens is when we are in the relationship, we become blinded by the fact that we have companionship. That we have someone here to distract us and it doesn’t allow us to face ourselves.
And so, now you don’t even realize you’re becoming more and more toxic not just in that relationship, but for future relationships if you don’t heal and break the cycle. So, the break up was necessary, it was a blessing. And again, you have to embrace it.
5. Because You Were Putting That Person Above God.
So, here’s the thing and listen, I say this with no judgment because the reality is that it has happened to so many of us, all right.
Where we become so consumed and so into an individual that we don’t even realize we have essentially put them above God.
We put more into the relationship with them than we do with God. We worry more about their opinion and their perspective than we do from God.
And so, this is a problem, this is a huge problem especially if you’re going to God saying, I want what you have for me, I want the best that you have for me.
Well, God is saying okay, well, listen, I will give you the best, but I must come first. And so, we needed a wake-up call, we needed to step back and that break up was to say hey, you can’t do it like this anymore.
You’ve got to make sure that in that next relationship whether it’s a new person or reconciling with that old person that you have now put the proper structure in place.
Where God will always be first and they will come second to that. Granted they are of high priority if you’re going to be married to them one day and all these things.
But God must still come first and you want to make sure you take a self-assessment of are you prioritizing them over God? Have you lost track?
And again, it happens to the best of us, all right. But you’ve got to be mindful of it because that’s a very dangerous road and that isn’t what God wants in your life and that isn’t what’s going to bless your relationship. So, that break up was necessary to get things back into proper order.
Conclusion – My Worlds
So, as I said in the beginning, I wanted you to read to the very end because I want you to understand that as I mentioned earlier, every break up is not meaning things can’t work out with someone. Many people again, are with the wrong person and the break up needs to happen and there needs to be no reconciling. But there are situations where the right person wrong time. And it’s just a matter of growth that needs to occur on both sides because we have this bad habit of always saying well, they weren’t ready, they needed to grow.
Listen! if it wasn’t working out at that time, then trust and believe there are some things you need to grow with as well. You need to evaluate yourself because we get so caught up in evaluating and analyzing the other person’s behavior, we become blind to our own. We don’t realize how we may have negatively poured into that relationship. We don’t realize how we may have made things harder on them and ourselves in that relationship. We have to hold ourselves accountable for how we can make things better in any situation and that’s not just for the sake of our growth, but again, that’s for the sake of your success. Whether that be reconciling with them and renewing that relationship or if you are meant to move on to something bigger and better, well, I want you to be ready for that. And so, you have to learn from your past relationships. Too many people end up in these breakups and learn nothing from their relationships. What they take from it are negative perceptions, I can’t trust men, I can’t trust women, this that, all the other, whatever, all these negative things, that’s not learning anything. You’re weighing yourself down with negativity and things are going to bring walls up in your life and block you from your blessings. We should always be able to look back and say okay, you know what. What could I have done better? It doesn’t mean the whole situation was your fault. It’s not to make you feel like you’re being blamed for anything, but it’s essential to help you become stronger, wiser, and better so that you can have success going forward. But again, the break up is a blessing, embrace it. But if you’re hurting, get the pain out, get the cry out. And make sure you heal, make sure you address all those deeper issues.
It will change your life and it will ensure that you can move forward in a more positive, loving manner and you can receive all that God has for you. So, embrace the healing process, embrace the blessing of the breakup, and embrace all that you need to do in your life to achieve better.