My Boyfriend Looks At Other Females Online And Likes Their Pics:- A lot of women feel like this and you probably resonate with that at some point having this happen in your relationships. It sounds like such a simple question, doesn’t it? And there’s a lot of complexities to it.
Who is he liking? Whose pics is he liking? Is it friends? Is it celebrities – that makes a difference.
What are the pics of – nude, bikini? Are they normal pics?
And even how often is he liking them? If it’s one a week, it’s going to be pretty different to 10 a day, right? There are so many permutations of this scenario.
It’s why it makes general advice on this scenario very hard to answer, but what I’m going to give you today, some guidelines that you can use right now.
- My Boyfriend Looks At Other Females Online And Likes Their Pics
- Conclusion
My Boyfriend Looks At Other Females Online And Likes Their Pics
1. We Have To Go Back To Looks Again At Intent.
What’s his intent, and he might not even know this on a conscious level, but just keep this concept in mind because his intent is going to play a part later on.
2. Having The Right Expectations For You In Your Relationships.
Social media has changed relationships a lot and it now means that we’re more aware of things. We never used to be.
Things that easier to fuck up. You know you argue, you can go on Tinder in the next room, ruin your relationship. My grandparents just couldn’t do that.
It also makes us acutely aware of all the things that we lack and this isn’t just anything to do with relationships or it could be, we might see other couples photo, you go, I’m not in that relationship, but it makes you, it shows you all these beautiful people and you go, wow, I like that.
So social media is around to stay and it does mean that we have to recognize it for what it is and get better at handling your insecurities and not comparing ourselves to others. Which brings up the question:
Q. Is It You Handling Your Insecurities Or Is It Disrespectful To The Relationship?
That’s the key question here and it’s not an easy one to answer because every situation is different. Your expectations have to be in the right place and expecting that your partner will never be attracted to someone else is a false expectation.
Just because someone commits to being exclusive asks you to marry him, walks down the aisle does not mean that his brain, especially the deepest core parts of his brain will never notice another attractive woman.
You’ve been with a guy, I’m sure at some point who you’d been walking down the street and he whoops! I girl walk past with boobs and he noticed them. Men are programmed this way.
They are very visual and that walking scenario is the same thing he’s doing on Instagram boobs, boobs.
Understand that social media is gonna make you acutely aware of the fact that at times your partner will still find himself attracted to others. That’s not going to change.
Getting married doesn’t change your brain chemistry. It’s the choice not to act on those urges. That is the most important thing, but we still have to consider respect.
Also Read: Michael Fiore Four Word Question – Toxic | Blank You Blank Me
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3. The Third Point Is To Check In With Yourself.
So before you go calling him out and saying he’s disrespectful to the relationship. Check-in with what you’re doing. Are you following hot firefighters? Are you following at hot male surfers?
Or maybe you’re just liking posts for a slightly different reason. Maybe you’re being less visual, but Hey, that guy kind of suit looks great and the way you’re doing it is more subtle.
Become self-aware of any ways you could be doing this perhaps in a slightly different manner and go, Hmm, could my insecurities be playing a part in this?
4. Have A conversation With Him About Respect, And Look At That Point I Talked About Before About His Intent.
What we need to do to answer this question is in your relationship and every relationship is different, but in your relationship, you need to decide what constitutes respect for the relationship and what is a normal part of, Hey, we’re going to be attracted to other people at times and liking a photo.
If that’s the worst thing that’s ever going to happen, it makes me a bit insecure, but I’ll handle it.
Where’s the middle ground there? The thing that I get a lot of my clients to do with this is to chat with their partner about respect in the relationship.
So that’s easy enough to do, but what you want to get to is what is his intent and this is going to vary based on how often he’s doing it.
A guy who’s liking his friend’s bikini pics 10 times a day is different from a guy who likes Scarlett Johansson’s celebrity pic once a week.
They’re coming at it from very different intents. The guy who just is liking Johansson’s pic, he’s probably just supporting her, he probably likes the set of boobs and then he went on with his life there.
He wasn’t expecting Scarlett to notice. He wasn’t expecting to take validation from that.
The guy who’s liking his coworker’s bikini pics 10 times a day is much more likely to want to be noticed by her. Think that if your partner is doing this, what is his motivations might be relative to who he’s doing it too, what the photos are, how often it’s happening, think about what you perceive his intentions might be, but let him come to the table with his suggestions.
The two most common intents are:
- His own insecurity
- His support for the cause of literally him just liking the photo.
I spoke about it before. The guy who’s liking his coworker’s bikini photos is likely, probably more likely on a subconscious level, on a conscious level wanting that woman to notice him. He’s wanting to see, he’s wanting her to see that he liked her pic.
He’s wanting a bit of attention from her. He’s dealing with his insecurity and doesn’t know it and it’s just coming through in him liking photos.
The guy who’s liking Johansson’s pic much more likely to be doing it for a support type reason. Both could make you insecure by the way, if he’s obsessed with Scarlett, that could still make you feel insecure, you can pay your body, etc.
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What you need to do in your relationship is to get him to open up about his intent because then you can discuss it as a couple. This is a deep conversation to have, but if you can do it, you’ll have a phenomenal relationship because the communication will just be so fricking good.
The best way to help someone open up about their insecurities is to first open up about yours, and be vulnerable with yours. It’s easy to open up about your insecurities if it’s something that was a long time ago because you can say, Hey, I was insecure back then. I did that. You get to disconnect your ego from it.
Whereas admitting you were insecure yesterday and felt vulnerable yesterday is much more difficult, so if you come to the conversation with that attitude, the guy or your partner is much more likely to meet you there. He’s opening up about his insecurities and is aware of them.
He’s more likely to work on them and you guys will communicate together. We’ve all got to communicate because social media causes so many more problems than we need increased communication to deal with it.
So you can say, “Hey, I’ve noticed when I’ve noticed and this could be my thing that you like Scarlett Johansson’s pics a lot and what I do is I find myself thinking that I guess my body isn’t as good as hers. I’m not as good as her and that way I’m not going to be good enough for you” and see what his response is.
Or maybe you can say, “I’ve noticed that you like Cindy from work’s pics a lot and I have to admit, it feels like you’re giving her the attention, which I’m feeling like I guess I’m not worthy of your attention. I’m not good enough for your attention” and see what his response to that is.
In the vast majority of cases, when you come to a conversation like this, being vulnerable, opening up about your insecurities, the person is going to be vulnerable back to you and open up about theirs and you can say, “I guess I’m curious as to your motivation. I’m not necessarily saying you have to stop this because this might be, you know, we do want to talk about respect in our relationship, but this might be just my insecurity”.
You say that to him, but you say, “I’m curious to know what your, what do you think your drivers are to do that? I mean, are you just supporting Scarlett, or are you kind of actively, you know, fantasizing about something more? And I do understand that you’re going to fantasize about celebrities from time to time. So I’m not gonna hate on you for this.”
Remember, you want to emotionally reward him when he opens up about things that you may not want but need to hear. You’ve got it emotionally reward him or he’ll stop doing it, stop communicating.
The other thing you can then say is what things do I do to make you insecure? And again, I’m not necessarily going to stop doing them because of this conversation, but I’d like to know what they are so that I can check my intent, my drivers for them.
Like, let’s say he says, “Oh, when you hang out with Mitch, you check your intent and you say, look, I’m feeling like it’s not an insecurity that I’m hanging out with Mitch. I don’t feel like there’s any want there. I’m not having him as any sort of backup.
So I’m pretty, I’m pretty comfortable with my intent hanging out with Mitch”. Or maybe you say, “you know, I think talking to Steve, I think there’s a part of me as well that’s insecure that you’re going to leave. And that’s why I’ve kept that up.”
And that’s when you said, okay, so that’s something I need to address within myself.
And you judge whether or not you’re going to stop the behavior that makes him insecure based on your intent, not based on the way it’s making him feel.
That’s what’s important here is that you have that conversation. You talk about these things that most couples don’t talk about.
They’re new problems in relationships, so they’re not conversations people are used to having. But you open up those communication channels, reward each other for it while understanding the expectation that yes, you will feel attraction for other people at times, and then you can work together to define respect in your relationship and stick to it.
Conclusion
So it was a little convoluted there but the basic premise is that you’ve got to check yourself, make sure you manage your expectations, define respect and open up about your insecurities together to find the intent of his actions but also yours and you can bring something to the table as well.
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