3 Reasons Why He Won’t Commit In A Relationship | Walking Away When He Won’t Commit:- What do you think is the reason why he won’t commit to a relationship?
The unfortunate reality is that there’s a lot of women who come across this situation and it can become very frustrating, it can become very discouraging, and it can cause some of you to think that men, in general, do not want commitment.
Let me make it clear that’s not true. The reality is that tons of men are willing to commit to a woman. They are looking for a relationship, they desire it, they even want marriage in their life.
Do not get blinded by the individuals who don’t want that or who speak down on commitments in relationships.
That does not represent the majority. I can tell you with confidence, the majority of men do want a relationship. But they can meet a woman and for various reasons we’re going to talk about, they do not want to commit to a relationship with her or with you.
That’s not something to internalize and feel bad about because we are not for everyone, we are not everyone’s cup of tea everyone’s not your cup of tea.
There’s nothing wrong with that, that’s the way life works. But I want you to understand what’s going on because you may be caught up in confusion and frustration because you’re dealing with a man or have dealt with a man or God forbid you are going to end up dealing with a man but we hope that doesn’t happen, who does not want to commit to a relationship.
3 Reasons Why He Won’t Commit And Should I Walk Away?
1. He Was Never Really Interested In One.
Though I said to you yes, I do believe a lot of men, the majority of men want a relationship. There are men at the current moment who have convinced themselves or told themselves, they don’t want it, they’re not interested in it for various reasons, it is not on their radar. But not wanting a commitment, does not mean not wanting a woman in their life.
Not wanting a commitment does not mean not wanting intimacy in their life. So, these men will still pursue women, pursue you, even though they have no interest in a relationship right now.
And I mean to the point where the famous woman that they adore could have a walk through the door right now and they would still say no, I’m not committing to you, I’m not interested, because they’re just not trying to go there.
Various reasons could be he doesn’t feel like he’s where he wants to be in life, he may feel like I just got out of a bad one, I’m not ready for another one.
He’s worn down by his previous relationships and the damage that they have done to him. It could be various things. Or maybe he’s got to a point where he doesn’t believe in monogamy.
I would say in most cases, that’s still stemming from negative past experiences, but either way, he’s not interested, he doesn’t want it.
And that guy specifically, is being clear or he has said to you, I don’t want a relationship. And you have to learn to not ignore when a man says that.
When he says that, embrace it for what it is. And don’t convince yourself that you can change his mind or that he will decide to want something different later on.
That you can somehow put it on him or show him your greatness and that will make him want a relationship, no. He says he doesn’t want one, then you have to make a choice. You’re either going to deal with him knowing that, that’s the case, you shouldn’t but you’re a grown adult you make your own choices, but again you shouldn’t.
Or you’re just going to say, you know what, this doesn’t work for me, I want a relationship so we’re going to go our separate ways, which is the ideal route to take. So, he just was never interested in one.
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2. He is Not Over His Ex.
I honestly believe this is more common than people realize. Now, when I say not over his ex, ex does not always mean the very last person he dated.
Ex can mean two girlfriends ago, three girlfriends ago, hell, ex can mean a woman that wasn’t even his official girlfriend, but a woman that he fell deeply in love with or had deep feelings for and the situation didn’t work out and he has not gotten over that.
He has not gotten to a place where he’s ready to let go of that completely. And in the meantime, he still desires female companionship. And if you’re noticing the pattern here, no matter what many men are going through, a lot of times they will still desire female companionship.
I’m not saying that’s healthy or that’s the way they should be doing things, I’m simply explaining that is what happens in a lot of situations. And so despite him not being over his ex, he wants someone there, but he’s not going to be willing to commit to that woman.
Because in his mind either, he already knows that you know what? His heart is elsewhere and he may still be holding on to hope that some things can change and one day they can get back together, or he just hasn’t gotten over the pain from that situation.
One way or another, he’s not going to allow himself to be fully valuable to you and to fully embrace the idea of being with you because someone else occupies his heart.
Now, this is a scenario where you will always know it. Because not every man is going to tell you I haven’t gotten over my ex. Hell, I would argue most of them aren’t going to say that, most people, in general, don’t verbalize that.
You may catch on to it depending on how he speaks about his previous situations, maybe because in some scenarios he’s still friends with the ex and still has her around in a capacity that seems very uncomfortable for any new woman in his life.
These are the signs that can tell you. But again, this is one that you may not see. So, you can’t always wait for the explanation to validate letting a guy like this go.
If he’s unwilling to commit to you and commit to a relationship and that’s what you want, then he needs to go regardless.
But I’m just explaining to you one of the possible reasons why he won’t do it despite being around you, entertaining you, showing you love in certain ways, or showing you interest in certain ways.
He just hasn’t gotten over his past lover and there’s nothing you can do about it, you can’t change it, you’ve just got to let him go.
3. He Likes You But He Doesn’t Think You’re The One.
This is an unfortunate scenario but again, extremely, extremely common. There are a lot of situations where the man finds a woman and he genuinely likes that woman. He genuinely likes you.
He does desire to have you in his life to speak, but he does not think you are the one. He does not think you are the woman he wants to spend his life with and so rather than tell you that outright because he knows by saying it, he would more than likely lose you, he will drag you along.
Some guys will take it to boyfriend-girlfriend official relationship commitment knowing they’ll never marry you. Other guys won’t even take it to the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
They don’t want to take it that far, but they want to find other ways to keep you in place, to keep you there at his convenience.
Not saying this is okay, not saying this is right or healthy, but this is what happens. And so, I’m mentioning it also because many of you take the fact that he likes you and shows you behavior and he even says things that express his like and desire for you and you hold on to that hoping that, that is your path to getting the commitment from him.
That this means in time he will come around. But again, if he is unwilling to commit to you now and he’s unwilling to even set a plan of okay, it’s one thing to say, you know what, I need a couple of months.
So, I need to get something together, give me till this month and we’ll make it happen. Then I can understand you wanting to try to work with him.
Even in trying to work with him, I would argue do not get romantically involved with him. You do not need to and should not give a man the benefits of a relationship that would not commit to you in a relationship.
If he cannot give you that why are you giving anything of yourself to him? If he can’t give you what you need, why are you giving him what he wants?
This is how women shoot themselves in the foot all the time because you essentially have already become a girlfriend without him even giving you that label and official title. And some people might say, well, titles don’t matter, yes they do.
Because if I’m that into you, if I’m serious about you, why would it be hard to give it to you? Why would it be hard to say, we are an official relationship or you are my girlfriend? How difficult is that if I’m serious about us?
The reality is that when people struggle to do that is because they’re not serious.
He may like you, he may really like you but he doesn’t think you’re the one and for that reason, he will not commit. But again, don’t get caught up in thinking oh, he just has commitment fears and commitment issues.
I’m not saying that doesn’t exist in this world. What I am saying is in a lot of scenarios it’s just that he doesn’t want to commit to you and you will see that same man get with another woman months later engaged, but claiming the whole time with you that he didn’t want marriage, commitment, whatever. Do not fall for that.
Even if he has legitimate commitment fears and issues, then he needs to work on that. He needs to go to therapy he needs to conquer that issue so that you guys can have a healthy relationship. But do not give yourself to that man in the meantime.
The most you can do is be an encouraging supporting friend if you can handle it, that’s always the key. Don’t fool yourself many of you say, oh, we’re just going to be friends and next thing you know, you’re in his bed, all right. You know you’re doing girlfriend things with him next you know you’re giving him money, all kinds of stuff.
Please, please take a step back, and until he can give you full commitment, you do not need to give him full benefits, hell, you don’t even need to be giving him any benefits other than what a platonic friend would receive, plain and simple.