How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship – 5 Ways:- It’s an important concept because it can do damage both your dating and your relationships. And so today, I’m gonna give you a five-step process to handle your jealousy.
How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship? It’s a massive topic. I think one of the reasons I’m so passionate about this topic, and it’s one of the things that I believe separates my website from a lot of other coaches, is that I work with clients hard working on themselves.
We do a lot of self-work, and we do a lot of stuff on improving themselves and this, handling your jealousy is a huge topic in that area.
What Is Jealousy? How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship
Jealousy is an instinctual response. It’s a feeling coming from a very old part of our brain, evolutionarily speaking.
Its purpose is to avoid surprise and betrayal, to gain back control, and to seek reassurance. In other words, if you see your boyfriend talking to another girl, you want to avoid the surprise and betrayal of him leaving you.
You want to gain back control, so the temptation is to get in there and do stuff and seek reassurance from him that he’s still loyal to you.
The problem is some of our brains’ oldest evolutionary responses, don’t work so well in the modern world.
Acting on jealousy is often detrimental to your dating and relationships today. Jealousy has caused a lot of anger, a lot of drama, and in some cases even death in intimate relationships.
So you need to know when it’s appropriate and while you’re not wrong for feeling it, sometimes you can be wrong for acting on it.
How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship – Best 5 Ways
1. Acknowledge It.
Acknowledge that you feel jealous because you can’t fix any problem that you’re denying.
2. Take No Action On It.
Stop yourself from acting on it. While jealous feelings are normal, jealous actions are very rarely justified.
So stop yourself acting on it. Revenge. Jealousy is never the answer.
Read This Full Article To Know More About “How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship“. And please do share this article with your partner or your known ones.
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3. Figure Out Whether Your Jealousy Is Justified
Is your feeling of jealousy justified? And this is where you got to have some brutal self-honesty.
- Do you not trust your partner for some reason?
- Has your partner done something to betray your trust?
- Is your partner intentionally making you jealous?
If any of these are true, then it’s going to be about communicating with your partner and asking yourself why you’re with someone that you don’t trust? But in most cases, none of these are going to be true.
And that’s why you have to own the feeling. Because if your jealousy isn’t justified, and you can acknowledge that the feeling is very normal, but acting on it, remember, is not the answer.
So if you’ve answered no to all of those questions and you’ve said, okay, this feeling is normal, but I also know that in this modern situation it’s not justified, then you’re ready to begin working on it.
4. Clearly Identify The Thoughts Underlying Your Jealousy
It’s time to get to the root of the problem. What are the thoughts underlying your jealousy? See, any feeling that you have is caused by a thought.
If a guy doesn’t show up to date, then you’re either thinking, “Oh, he’s being rude,” or “Oh, something must have happened to him.”
The same scenario can produce different feelings depending on your thought. So let’s examine the thoughts behind your jealousy.
Be honest with yourself and think, what are the thoughts? What’s causing me to feel this? The reality is, that jealousy is often correlated with lower self-esteem, and that’s okay, but it’s time for you to own that and examine those thoughts.
So let’s have a look at some of the thoughts that are underlying the feeling of jealousy and be brutally honest about the internal language that’s going on in your mind.
- Are you thinking, “He’s going to leave me for her“?
- Are you thinking, “I’m not good enough to keep him“?
- Are you thinking, “He’d never choose me over her“?
- Are you thinking, “I need to stop him leaving me“?
- Are you thinking, “I have to control this situation so that he won’t leave me“?
Have a look at the underlying thoughts and once you’ve identified them, write them down.
Read This Full Article To Know More About “How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship“. And please do share this article with your partner or your known ones.
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5. Design Your ‘Antidote’ Thoughts
What we need to do in step five is to design some antidote thoughts. So these are thoughts that are going to counteract the negative ones that are making you feel jealous.
Each time you find yourself feeling jealous and thinking those thoughts, you’ve got to practice and get into the habit of thinking about your new replacement thoughts.
This isn’t something you do once or twice. It’s a habit that you’ve got to keep up because you’ve been in the habit of thinking jealous thoughts, so you’re going to have to get in the habit and get the good practice of thinking your antidote thoughts.
For example:-
- “He’s going to leave me for her.” Your antidote thought might be, “He can leave me for her, but he’d be an idiot to do so.“
- “I’m not good enough to keep him.” Your antidote thought might be, “If he cheated, it would prove he’s not good enough to keep me.“
- “I hate that women hit on him.” Your antidote thought for that one might be, “I love that he’s an attractive man, and if I’m honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way.“
- “I have to stop him from leaving me.” Well, you could replace that one with, “If he’s silly enough to leave me, I will be just fine.“
- “I have to stop this happening and control the situation.” Well, you can replace that with, “I don’t have to control this situation because I trust him.“
Figure out what your antidote thoughts are. So there are some examples there, but figure out what yours are.
If you’re not sure, go back to step four, examine the underlying thoughts, and figure out what the antidotes are.
And then every time you catch yourself thinking the first thought that’s making you jealous, practice thinking your antidote thought. So those are the five steps.
One Extra Bonus Tip
I want to just give you one more little bonus step right now to help you handle your jealousy. Because sometimes those mindsets, your antidote mindsets can be hard to keep in mind and hard to believe at the time.
6. Use Jealousy As A Trigger To Work On Yourself
In other words, every time we feel jealous, it’s usually because we’re not feeling that good. We’re a bit insecure and we’re not feeling like the prize that logically, we know we are.
So use jealousy, not just as a trigger to think your antidote thoughts, but as a trigger to work on yourself. So he goes out with his friends and you know girls are going to be hitting on him.
You can sit at home being jealous and hoping that he calls you and then harassing him to call you and then him wanting to getaway. Or you can say:-
“Wait, I’m feeling jealous. That’s a trigger to work on me.
- What can I do extra this week for work?
- What hobby can I pursue right now?
- Which friends can I hang out with?
- How can I make a plan for this week to kick more ass in my life than I’ve ever kicked before?”
Use jealousy as a trigger to work on yourself and it’s going to be a hell of a lot easier to keep in mind all those antidote mindsets that stop you from being jealous.
My Last Words – Conclusion
Jealous feelings are normal, but jealous actions are not and can be extremely toxic to your dating and relationships.
Well, thank you so much for reading this article. Please leave a comment, make sure you leave your thoughts, comments, questions, etc.
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